Bonnie - My heart bleeds for you all and the situation you are in. I remember going to church one Sunday morning and telling everyone my husband was doing great in rehab after his stroke. When I got to rehab I went to his room and the mattress was on the bed, stripped, and rolled up. I almost passed out, I was sure he had died. His heart had acted up and he was sent back to the ER. The doctor had left a message on my answering machine that I didn't see before I left for church. I know what ups and downs are all about. My husband was 71 when he had his stroke and lived ten years. I don't know how old Shirlee is but if she recovers enough to go home you will have your hands full and if she needs a nursing home it will cost an arm and a leg. I guess you just have to take a day at a time and do what you have to do.
It sounds like Dale is having a rough time with his dentures but if he loses weight and brings his blood pressure down maybe it will be worth it. It sounds like you and Sandy will lose weight also with all the running around and cooking less.